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Monday, November 10, 2014

Mole Hills

Last week I had one of those days where I felt like I was failing.

It was utterly ridiculous, but overwhelmed with all that wasn't done, I blamed myself. Thinking that it was my fault, that I hadn't been doing enough.
Later on that evening after Shawn had come home from work I snuck away to take a bath while the boys had some special Dad time.

Refocusing and collecting my thoughts I was struck with how silly it was for me to carry such a heavy burden.
After all, just within that day, I had cooked my sons a proper breakfast & lunch, played with them outside, read to them, built legos with them, ran two loads of laundry (including putting it away), went grocery shopping, watched my neighbors little boy for about an hour, made dinner with enough to send home for them, I worked on my novel and cleaned up around the house. Potty training, breaking up fights, encouraging in love, teaching life skills, tending to the needs of our home, washing: clothes, bed linens, bath towels, kitchen towels, sinks, floors, walls... faces, hands, booties... myself on occasion...

How on earth could I possibly do much more?!

So I let go, once again, of the burden to be a better me, and was proud of myself for having done so very much that day.

Later on I want to share more concerning my struggle between healthy expectations and the lofty ones that I put on myself, as I'm sure many of you can relate.
If you're staring at bills, dusty cabinets and dishes in the sink, don't lose heart. Be encouraged and take a long look at how hard you've been working. Give yourself grace if you're in a rough season. And if all you have is a mole hill, remember it's not a mountain ;)

xoxo

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

I've missed you

Hi.
I've really missed you.
I've missed blogging. I've missed the whole act of putting into words the actions and thoughts of my day to day.
While going through the motions of life and living in the moment offers one point of view, going back and recounting it all draws up a whole new perspective. I've realized that there is beauty hidden within it and it needs to be discovered. I have to remember.
It helps me to appreciate where I'm at.
And too, it helps me to better see where I'm going.

Being a Mom is the most hard core thing that I have ever done! Being a wife is pretty intense, but the sacrifice required in mothering is quite a bit more demanding.
Any of you that have stepped into this role know that it's incredibly difficult, beyond humbling and super draining at times.
But, it is also THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING that I have ever been a part of.
Gods hand is on us and my arms stretch out for His love daily. He is with us. We are raw. Every activity is new. Seasons are constantly changing and there is little comfort in assuming what tomorrow may look like. With toddlers, you never know what you're going to get. God is constant. I am growing, learning, being broken and put back together.

I turned 30 a month ago. My youth is slowly slipping away, but maturity offers a stability that feels pretty darn good. I will look back on my 20's with fondness, as I forge ahead in anticipation of what's to come.

I am writing more. Working on a novel that I am beyond excited about and a few other pieces that fight to escape my mind. There is a story teller that lives within my being and her voice must be heard. I feel like writing is an organism inside of me and it has to be allowed to live to it's full potential. Denying it the space it requires kills my spirit. So I write, in all sorts of forms.

And as for being a 'happy wife with a happy life', Shawn and I are doing well. He brings me joy daily and we laugh together just as much as ever. We absolutely have our moments of frustration, and years to learn how to better love each other, but I couldn't imagine doing life next to anyone else. He is my other half and best friend. He provides for our needs and cares for us with such an sweet loyalty. Emerson & Hunter are blessed to have this man as their Father and I to be their Mother beside him.
                                              
                                                                              xoxo

Monday, September 10, 2012

Hubba Hubba

Emerson & Hunter looking dapper in their neatly added attire.
Thanks to this fun app.
It's one of my favorite to play around on.
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A few pictures have come in of you beauties who've received your scarves already! 
I can't wait to share all the pictures at the end of this month!
Giving gifts is fun!
xoxo

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Barefoot in the Kitchen


This is what the majority of my Saturday looked like.
Crock-Pot
Oven
Stove 
All being used at once. 
Chopping veggies and cooking meat.
Prepping meals for the week to come.
Emerson & Hunter kept me company, sitting in the entry way to the kitchen, talking to me and lending me a hand when I needed someone to hold something ;)
This is what I made/pre-cooked/separated into daily portions today:
CousCous
Broccoli
*Salad {Cucumber, Bell Pepper, Tomato, Beats, Calamata Olives}
Sweet Apple Chicken Sausages
Hard Boiled Eggs
Sugar Snap Peas
*Baked Garbonzo Beans
*Crock-Pot Chicken 
Watermelon

Most of these things I can pick up and eat on their own without adding anything to them.
Also ready to eat this week are apples, oranges, blueberries and strawberries.
Frozen fruit for smoothies and a couple Lara Bars for an occasional 'treat'. 
Tomatoes, Carrots and Cauliflower are waiting in my refrigerator too.
I need to buy avocados!

I've been realizing more and more how well I work when given boundaries or 'assignments' and tasks.
So if I set out and designate what food I'm 'aloud' to eat each day, that's what I'll eat. Which keeps me eating far healthier than when I just grab something to eat without much awareness to it's content.
And of course! As a busy Mother, having my food all prepped and ready to go saves me loads of time and energy!

Shawn has been away this weekend for work...
He left Thursday and will return tomorrow {Sunday} late night.
As strange as it is not having him around in the evenings or at night sleeping at my side, these last couple days have been rich with God time. 
All these extra hours spent with Him, has been super beneficial for my soul! Like, really really really beneficial!!
- I think I'll blog about what's new in my heart in another post.

Anyway, I'm excited for Shawn to come home, but thankful that the Lord has met me in these day of being on my own.

*Salad- I did this mix last week as well. I can add leafy greens to it, or chicken, or an egg, or none of the above and it's good. Instead of using dressing {have never liked it, even before 'watching what I eat'}, I like adding Calamata Olives as it gives just a little extra flavor without too many calories. I don't even put very many in the mix with all the veggies.
Too, I fried up a little bit of CousCous, maybe 1/4 cup and sprinkled it on top one day and that was also good.

*Baked Garbonzo Beans- I stumbled upon The Boho Glow on instagram the other day and saw this recipe that they'd posted. 
If you are looking for something crunchy to munch on you should try these. They kind of remind me of healthy corn nuts... at first I thought they were somewhat odd honestly, but then I kept on wanting to eat them. I'll definitely throw these in the oven again and make more when I'm done with this little batch.
15oz can of Garbonzo Beans {drained}
1/4 tsp Olive Oil
1/4 tsp Cumin
1/4 tsp Garlic Powder
1/4 tsp Oregano
-Stir all the ingredients together and then place on a baking sheet
{spraying olive oil on the sheet before hand}
Oven at 350* Bake for 50 minutes or until crunchy.
And voila, you have yourself a healthy snack.

*Crock-Pot Chicken- Easiest no brain chicken ever!
All I do is throw two frozen breasts in the crockpot, add a cup of chicken broth or water, and cook on low for 8-10 hours. You can also throw in different seasonings if you'd like {before pouring the liquid on top, sprinkle your seasonings}. Occasionally I'll add a packet of Italian Dressing mix and that adds enough flavor for me when I put it on my 'dressing-less' salads. 
The chicken always turns out perfectly moist and falls apart easily.
-------------------------------
It's been a good Saturday. 
Lots of music was played: Jason Mraz, Coldplay, Nick Drake, Maroon 5, Shawn McDonald...
There was a massive thunder and lightning storm right over our apartment! Gosh is was SOOO loud! There was little rain, but lightning bolts and booming thunder danced brilliantly overhead!

Another day has come and gone. 
In a minute, after I tap my finger on the Publish button, I'll move it then across the computer screen to the Netflix button and there I'll press play on the Friday Night Lights screen. 
Sigh... Being away from the Hubs is good I think... Cause the moment I see him next, I plan on wrapping my arms around him and holding on tight! I need to work on showing him more of my love and appreciation for him.
-before he left, I told him that he can show his appreciation for me when he comes home with diamonds or something! lol. Leaving me with 5 month old twins and all! ;) I kid. We've been doing wonderfully. 
But I will definitely have a 'Me Date' on Tuesday night! That's for sure! Monday night Shawn and I will spend together since tomorrow night we wont get to. But Tuesday, I'm taking a break as soon as he comes home from work! 

xoxo

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Pajama Party









Hanging out with my boys before bed last night.
I took that first picture and then lay down next to them...
Looked over and saw their sweet expressions and thought I should capture a smile or two.
How can you not want to kiss those little lips and hold them so tight?!

This morning as I spoke with the Lord,
an overwhelming sense of gratitude came crashing down upon me.
"Thank You Lord!"
I probably said it 20+ times. Over and over and over again.
"Thank You for blessing me with Emerson & Hunter."
"Thank You for believing in me and trusting that I would do well in taking care of them."
"Thank You for the gifting me with not just 1, but 2 babies."
"Thank You for trusting in me and passing on the responsibility of raising children."
"I will follow You all the days of my life."
xoxo


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

5 months old

These handsom men of mine are a whopping 5 months old already!




It's true! 5 whole months have gone by!
These little goofs are getting bigger every day.
Some mornings they wake up and I can hardly see the resemblance from yesterday. 
One minute they're itty bitty babies, the next they're almost little boys!

This has seriously, hands down, been the coolest thing I've ever been a part of! 
I couldn't ask for a better life!
"Hunter and Emerson,
I LOVE YOU!"

--------------------------------------------------------------
The Scarf Swap has officially started.
20 Lovelies for 10 different States are sending scarves to each other 
and I'm super excited to see what everyone gets!
Also, I'll be hosting another swap {different gift} in November!
So stay tuned.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!
xoxo
Happy Wife

Monday, September 3, 2012

Sons


Emerson is so focused these days.
Figuring out all the tiny details around him.

Hunter never stops moving.
Rolling over and trying to grab at everything.

It's the sweetest thing watching them try to find each others hands to hold.
Even if they're not paying attention to one another, 
their little hands will still reach out to find the others fingers.

Brotherly love grows daily!
Smiles back and forth,
giggles and coos and conversation...
There is a special love forming between my sons,
and I am overwhelmed by the blessing that they are to me.

"Thank You Lord for allowing me to be the Mother of these amazing gentlemen! I feel like the luckiest woman in the world!"

Sunday, September 2, 2012

A Place of Quiet Rest.

Last week, in the wee hours of the morning, after feeding my babies and crawling back into bed I got a funny feeling. It was an uneasy, unsettling feeling... and I realized that I hadn't taken the time to cover their new room in prayer. 
So as I fell back to sleep, I prayed, lifting up my little men and asking that the Lord would fill their sweet abode with His perfect presence.

The next day, before Hunter and Emerson went down for their morning nap, the 3 of us spent 30 minutes filling their room with prayers. We sang songs that declared the love of God and claimed that space as His. "May this place of quiet rest be one filled with comfort, truth, peace and light. May it be a safe haven where all who enter feel relieved of burden and heart ache. May my sons thrive, grow and sleep soundly within the walls of this sanctuary."

I felt so much better knowing that I'd taken the time to act upon my love and prayers for them. I didn't just leave it at a simple conversation with God about keeping them safe and sound, but I spent half an hour purposely speaking words of truth and life into the corner of our home that is theirs. My breath, my voice, my heart was poured out in complete love for the lives that God has entrusted into my care. There, I lifted them back up to Him.  

sigh... Prayer is a powerful thing. 
I've been reading Corrie ten Boom's daily devotional and one of my favorites is this:
-July 29th
"Before the war, I was a watchmaker. When my hand was not steady and I had to do a very exact piece of work on a watch, I would pray, 'Lord Jesus, will you lay Your hand on my hand?' He always did, and our joined hands worked firmly and securely.
Jesus never fails us for a moment.
"And the hand of the Lord was with them... Acts 11:21"
Remind us that You are always with us, Lord. Thank You that even our smallest problems concern You. You answer our slightest need."
Whatever your work is, wouldn't it be amazing to know Gods presence in this way?! As a Mother, this is my daily prayer!! "Lord, live through me! May my actions be as Yours, may my words and my thoughts be as those that would come from You."
My sons need help 24/7! Um, and I'm just a human woman who is definitely inadequate! But Oh Hallelujah! I have help! 'Our joined hands work firmly and securely' to bring stability, love and the proper care to these sweet little boys of mine! {don't mind all the exclamation marks... I just get super excited about the fact that living life doesn't have to be impossible when I have God at my side!}

Friends, I love you! 
Scarf Swap is closed so tomorrow you'll receive an email with where to send some love if you decided to join in! 
If you email me by the morning you can still be included.
xoxoxo
Happy Wife

ps... want to read about 
Our 'no beach' Beach Trip!
head on over to
Pink Peony Style
to read about how our weekend getaway.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Heading into Fall... and Spring.

{from Mondays letter over at Pink Peony Style} 
Oh, the weather is shifting from warm to cool and I woke up this morning wanting nothing else but to curl back up into my comforter and stay there for hours longer.
Socks, sweat pants and cardigan have all been added to the shorts and t-shirt I wore to bed...
Still it's chilly, but my sipping hot coffee is bound to heat things up a bit from the inside.

The turn from one season to the next is always so exciting. Living in Oregon, we have the blessing of experiencing each of the four beautiful seasons. And though some last longer than others, each season is still different than the one before.
Heading into Fall, memories of last year and those before all start to play at the forefront of my mind where images of red, orange, and purple leaves paint the backdrop of days gone by.
Sigh... Toffee nut lattes, the pumpkin patch, rainboots, hats & scarves and staying indoors, cozied up on the couch with a happy book, my best friend and pretty music...
And of course now my world has begun to make memories with two children in tow.

Sitting on our living room floor, with memories fading in and out, a pile of the boys laundry at my side and a few little toys on the other, I'm beginning to feel old. Maybe not old, but aged? Or...
I've lived. Gone from childhood to adolescence, young adult to married, now Mother with babies.
Each of those seasons were marked in and of themselves with mini seasons...
Some were seasons of 'fall', times of letting go, clearing things out in order to make room for a new, fresh and healthy beginning.
There have been seasons of 'winter', where the world seemed to stand still. Times were quiet and comfortable with little cares or worries.
Then seasons of 'spring', with doors of opportunity opening right and left. Where the business of moving to the beat of a brand new drum kept me on my toes with a skip in my step.
And of course seasons of 'summer' have found their way into life as well. These days are marked with blue skies, the song of birds and sunny hues blanketing the world below. Days of thriving, laughing, chasing after passions with a bold heart...

Outside, the weather is taking on the season of Fall.
Inside, inside of me, inside my head and my heart, which move my actions... Here, we are all heading into a time of Spring.
Oh this is bound to be a season that I look back upon as a good one!


....................................................

listening to Ben Howard-Promise
sitting on my living room floor {I prefer the floor to chairs or couch any day}
wearing athletic pants, ready to move
sipping coffee {same cup lasts me all day...}
praying, running, trusting, falling further into my loving Fathers arms

~Happy Wife

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Scarf Swap

email me at: amberdawn.prov.31@gmail.com
Only email me if you are truly interested and will send a scarf!
We don't want anyone left out.
All those participating need to respond by Friday of next week{8.31.12}
& please, new scarves only.

again
$20 limit
Respond with your name and address by 8.31.12
Hopefully everyone will be receiving a new scarf by the end of September!
Start shopping ladies!

xoxo
Happy Wife