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Monday, November 14, 2011

For the love of writing.

I used to write a lot more. 
5 years ago, you'd find me writing almost daily. Often times even a few times a day. 
Pouring out my heart upon paper, working through emotions and the drama of life...
For some reason I stopped. 
Around the time Shawn and I started dating...


I LOVED to write. 
Writing was my greatest outlet.
It was intimate. Private. 
There were so many years that I felt alone.
Misunderstood. 
Easier to share with a silent someday reader than people who might question.


Today, I am able to process life within the realm of thoughts and prayer much better than I used to.
I have learned to work through the ramblings of my insecurities without needing to pen them down.
There are things that I miss about journaling though.
My joys... A thousand a day, were written to look back upon and remember. 
To see, even in that moment that the little trials were minuscule in comparison to the wonders of this life. God is good!
Clarity... It's always good to get out what's locked within... like negative thoughts. 
Personally, I give those suckers a swift kick in the butt once they're recognized, and writing them down on paper seems to bring them to light much sooner than allowing them to dwell deep within me. 
Freedom... To say whatever the heck I wanted, without being judged. In any way shape or form.


............................................................

My head rests upon my pillow, while my body lays slightly on it's side. Laying in bed is becoming more and more uncomfortable.
Shawn McDonalds voice sings through the speakers on my laptop and I'm reminded of days long ago.
My first apartment. A summer filled with swimming in lakes, long drives sitting beside a crush, and much bonding with some of the sweetest girls that I have ever known. That summer was the beginning of a whole new me...

I'm tired. Hubby's watching House, and I tried to sit out there with him, but at this point, I'm no good for convo or paying too much attention to a tv show. I need calm.

Sang to this little baby of mine earlier. Songs that my parents sang to me when I was a child. Songs of my Savior. Songs that speak of truth and life... I can't wait to hold my baby E and tell them about the wonderful adventures in store. 4 months of womb growing... "I wonder what you look like."

My Love has come to bed. You should hear some of the stories he tells me... Working at a criminal defense firm brings much laughter to our evenings. Some people are just a little off! 
Hubby is a fantastic attorney and I am so very proud of the work he does. Not everyone who needs a criminal defense attorney is a criminal you know... Who'd a thunk it?
Alrighty, time for me to put on my listening ears and give this man some attention.

Goodnight dear Reader,
xoxo
Amber Dawn


Hubby just showed me this, thought I'd share... lol.

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