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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Blue

Welp, since I'm feeling a bit blue again, I figured now is the time to share about the wacky emotions that come and go...

2.2.2012
*Bath Time
There are some moments where all I want to do is cry. Other times a silly and frustrated feistiness takes over. Normally neither feeling lasts too long... probably due to the fact that I fight both sudden stirrings of emotion quickly! Even though I understand for the most part why both arise, I really don't want to spend my time like a crazy woman.
When I'm feisty, aggression and unhappiness bounce around inside of me and it's terribly unsettling. -My life has slowed down a ton since being pregnant. Especially in the last couple months. I can't do as much for myself, and It's coming to the point where even getting up off of the couch at the end of the day is a great feet. So feistiness creeps in and I want to run around like a chicken with my head cut off. 
~Breath Amber. You can do this just a little bit longer. This is how you get to take care of your babies... So far so good! Hunter and Emerson are super healthy and this pregnancy has been pretty dang easy~ Okay.
Wanting to cry... probably sweeps over me every 3 days or so. Note-it's not that I'm experiencing something sad really, like a movie or hearing of someones loss, or... whatever, you get the picture. For example, the Hubs and I were watching an action film tonight, nothing sad about it at all! But as I was sitting there watching Jason Statham kick some serious butt, a heavy sadness settled upon me and I wanted to cry! Oy, who am I?!?! "Will you pause it for a sec Babe?" Shawn stopped the movie and I told him how I felt. "My sweatpants are even uncomfortable now. Sitting here is awkward and every day I have to work around something new... I miss me, the familiar."
~This adventure, as uncomfortable as it is right now, is seriously AWESOME! And, God is surrounding me with so many wonderful aspects of Himself these days. Cling to what's so very good!!

Gosh I really do have it good! Family, Friends, Hubby, Health, enough $ for today, 2 Babies!!!
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So tonight I got sad again. Looked at my HUMONGOUS belly and wanted to cry. It's big! Heavy and hinders me in so many ways.
But then I remembered... Emerson and Hunter live in there! I would do anything for them!!! This is my first act of surrender for them. The first time I get to let go of my wants in order to meet their needs {which I know will be something I'll have to do on a daily basis!}
The sadness has past. My boys are my passion and my Husband is wonderful at taking care of me. God has prepared us for the moments we're living in, and I know that though some of the beauty of pregnancy is tough, it's such an incredible blessing!
I'm gonna be a Mama! 

4 comments:

Maranda Marie said...

Thank you for being so honest. You are so amazing. All this will be over before you know it and your next adventure will be taking care of those little boys! :)
Stay strong! XO

brittany said...

aww, and the hormones don't help a girls emotions one bit! i'm still in the "easy" part physically i suppose (with only the one babe!) but i've definitely had to remind myself when i get frustrated that it's temporary! it's hard to have to slow down, for sure. but how cute is it to picture your boys all snuggled up together in their little belly apartment!! so darn cute :)

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

Thank you for commenting on my blog. Hang in there! Wow - twins!!

Happy Wife said...

Thanks Maranda! I can't wait to introduce my baby boys to you!!
xoxo