Friday, March 16, 2012

I don't live in The Notebook

Last night the Hubs and I were not on the same page...
It's past and gone away now, but there are days where I need one thing, and he is trying to give me another... He's doing his best to understand me and take care of me and every once in a while, it just doesn't work out the way that I need it. 
I'm a woman, who craves conversation, emotional connection and an ever attentive ear. He's a man who wants to do well, accomplish tasks and make sure that all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed. This is how he takes care of me, how he provides.
His ability to work so hard is wonderfully admirable. And I love love love him and his drive for that. 
Doing my best to be aware of our differences and to recognize that it's not natural for him to be super doting and concerned with how I'm 'feeling' has helped a ton. 
We are different, and our differences have truly been a blessing!! We balance each other out, and it's beautiful to know how it's shaping me, and I love watching how he's been changing over the years as well.
Last night, I wanted him to focus solely on me. To hear my every word and to be compassionate and sensitive....
ha! I laugh because as much as he adores me, and shows me more love than I've ever known, he doesn't know how to engage in a super 'womanly' way. {Gosh, it makes sense though right?! Some of you might forever live in scenes from the Notebook, but I sure don't!} My Husband is a man. He likes college football, hunting and logic. He loves a big steak, drinking a beer and smoking a pipe. He does not wear scarves, skinny jeans, and his heart upon his sleeve. BUT he is loyal, trustworthy and kind. He is funny, playful and 99.9 % of the time a very happy guy!!
Slowly but surely, he is learning to stop whatever 'task' he is doing, just to hear me share how I'm feeling. {He bought me flowers tonight, and asked me how my body's been treating me today} Last night we talked about ways that he can remember how to go out of his natural course, to meet me where I'm putting reminders on his phone, and praying...
For me, I need to remain patient, loving and forgiving of the times where my feelings are hurt. Never ever ever!!! does he hurt me intentionally!!! and THAT if anything is a fact that I cling to. He is a good man. {sure, he's got stuff to work on... but so do I!} 
Shawn, I love you! Thanks for trying to learn how to meet my emotional needs... You are getting better ;)
~then you go and show me this picture. lol


Ashley Marie said...

Sister, you have been given so much wisdom beyond your years. I am thankful for you in my life to always encourage me with truth... not just what I want to hear;) I love this men/women photo. I have waaaaay more buttons than that even:) ha!

Maranda Marie said...

This made me so happy. I love your honesty, it is so encouraging you have no idea.
When Kyle and I first got married we didn't know how to listen to each other and pay attention in the way the other person needed, which led to more arguments than I was expecting being newlyweds. I had a friend at church who had told me her and her husband NEVER fight. She seriously said NEVER...
So I felt like something was wrong with Kyle and I, only months into being married. I didn't have people around me telling me that all the newness can create tension and arguments and its normal. Its not normal for a couple not to argue or disagree on things! It's just all about how you handle the disagreements.
People like to put on such a front and pretend like everything is perfect. If everyone would just be honest and open and offering advice like your blogs, it would be so much easier for us all!
Your description of Shawn sounded so much like Kyle. haha He is a mans man! He and Shawn would probably get along really well! Although I think it might be a little more tough for "our kinds of guys" to understand our feelings and be sensitive, ours are the best kind of guys. Manly men!!

Ok, long comment. Just wanted to say thanks for always sharing and being so honest. You're an amazing woman! :)

Claire said...

haha ive seen that picture before and it makes me laugh. is it that women have all these complicated buttons or is it that the men just can't figure out the important one?!

Mrs. J*F*G said...

I am a new reader on your blog, and found this truly encouraging. I too am expecting, due the end of May! Lately (thank you hormones) I have been frustrated with what seems like my husband's lack of interest with all things baby. It is a good reminder that our husbands often speak a different language (my husband is also a manly-man), and communication is key to working things out. Thanks for your honesty, it was really encouraging today!