Thursday, March 1, 2012

Lets Get Personal

Y'all Ready for This?

It's time to get a little more personal... a little more raw.
My revealing the depth of thoughts and feelings that stir within me, might make a couple of you uncomfortable, but really, my life is getting all the more serious as I step into a very important role. And to be honest, I don't want to hide a single thing about where I'm coming from. We all know that life isn't always a dainty picturesque fairytale for Mothers and Wives.
Let's face it, weird is more of a normal thing. And normal is more of a weird thing... at least in the world that I live in.
So that's where we're headed, into my reality. 

-Not to say that this blog hasn't already been a true telling of where I'm at, because it has been... We're just going deeper now, and probably a bit broader as well.

a few things written in notebooks over the last couple days.

And so it begins... For the past ten years or so, I have had both girl friends and guy friends tell me how great of a Mom I would be someday. Back when I was 17, I was teased about how they could all see me taking on total 'Soccer Mom' status and driving a minivan. These days I hear more encouraging things, like how loving and caring I am and how they just know I'm gonna be a great Mom. {Who wouldn't want to hear those things?!}
Well friends, it's time to put your theory to the test, because in roughly 8 weeks, two baby boys will enter the world and give me the title of 'Mom'. {ps... I'm buying a minivan}
To be honest with you, I'm sitting in the bath writing this. It's 11:45 and my Hubby is sleeping just beyond the bathroom door, while I jot down my goals and ideas and prayers...
"She Shall Thrive"... I want to thrive in this role. Thrive as a stay at home Wife and Mother of twins. Though the task is a bit daunting, I am more than up for the challenge and would say to, if said challenge had a face, "Bring it on! I will conquer you with gladness!".
My tummy is getting more and more difficult to work around. Sitting, back against the wall and notebook resting on top of the bath tub edge, I'm starting to feel cramped. 'Criss Cross Applesauce' just isn't the same these days.

Wrote down a few key words that stood out to me at my appointment today.
Makes a girl feel good about herself reading all these things sitting there waiting for her Dr...
There are pictures of reproductive organs everywhere, charts about any and every possible risk or infection or disease that one could 'contract', with the 10 steps to avoiding them or dealing with them once 'contracted', and a grip load of awkward 'tools' laying around on any given surface.
Now, don't get me wrong, none of these things scare me, it's all just kinda... odd. 
Rewind 15 weeks ago and I was sitting in a beautifully decorated cozy bedroom at a water birthing center. 
The atmosphere was pleasant and nothing about it was sterol. It really, simply was a bedroom {with a massive tub in the corner of it}.
Each woman that worked within this home had such a gentle heart, and approached birth with a positive and excited spirit.
Once we found out that we were expecting twins, it became obvious to us that our {more so my} idea of what our babies birth would be like was about to change. No water birth, no midwives that specialized in twins were available within the hospitals, and I was now going to deliver in the operating room rather than in a tub of water...
Surrender, you are becoming my dearest friend.
There were so many new things to figure out! Where would I deliver, how would I find the right OB {wanting someone with a more natural approach to things}... the list felt endless and a little overwhelming.
But, through searching a ton on line, I read about a woman {Dr. Ribbink} who might just be my cup of tea. I called, set up an appointment and have fallen in love with her. Each time I walk away from my meetings with her, I praise God. She's a fantastic OB, and has such a broad perspective on bringing life into the world. I feel safe within her care, and trust her judgment. A natural birth is still what we're headed towards, but were complications to arise, my hands hold loosely to what I think has to happen. 
ps. Everyone pray that Emerson does a massive flip! His feet are standing on my bladder and the only thing down at my crotch at this point.

Cereal, coffee, Instagram... it's snowing and carpal tunnel is slowly taking over in my right hand {I'm not even swelling very much if at all}.
Hunter and Emerson weigh roughly 3 pounds 11 ounces each, which means I'm carrying almost 7 pounds of baby PLUS both their 'sacks of goodness'. My body is slowing down...
Mama and I had scheduled a baby shower for this weekend down in Southern Oregon, but after talking to my OB, I was quickly advised to not go. "Blood clots, swelling, little to none uninterrupted rest...", it wouldn't be smart to make a 4 hour trip there and back. Despite my being 8 weeks away from the official estimated due date, which we thought would be perfectly fine... Neither of us had factored in that I'd be carrying like a woman with a 'singleton', at the end of her pregnancy. Twins make for a whole different world of thought.
Praise Jesus that this pregnancy has been relatively easy for me! If you're looking for someone to connect with in all of the strange preggo happenings, I'm not your girl. I am pregnant, my body is changing in very odd ways, and I'm learning as much as I can about how to enter into this new season.
Here are a few things that have been, um... difficult
*My crotch is sore a good bit of the time {babies weigh heavy on my 'down stairs'}.
*Wiping {I just don't have the same bend and flex anymore}.
*Washing Dishes {can't reach and it hurts my back}.
*Laundry {the only easy part is putting clothes into the washer}.
*Showering {hands up, washing my hair, standing on my feet, straining my back... I'm a mess and ready to lay down when it's all done!}.
*Getting Dressed {putting on underwear, pants, socks and shoes!!}.
*Sitting {I had never thought that such a simple thing could ever be so hard!}.
*Love Making {it's difficult. possible, but difficult}.
So there you have the last couple days.
Hope you stick around for more!
...'Cause I'm looking forward to spilling all my beans
{well most of them, maybe not all of them...}
Happy Wife


Beth said...

I remember hurting myself getting ready for work and trying to put my shoes on! It's killer. If you aren't wearing flip flops all the time then I wholeheartedly recommend shoes with a single velcro strap. Like maryjanes. Those made my 3rd trimester much more bearable.

And I am SO thrilled that you found a doctor you feel will support you well.

Happy Wife said...

Luckily I live in Oregon so rain boots happen on an almost daily basis! Those or sneakers that I can slip on or off... and I've actually worn flip flops a few times despite the weather. Thanks for the suggestion though.
At this point I don't want to buy a single more thing for my pregnant self!
Hope you're doing well!

Anonymous said...

i am so excited for you!!!!!


Jessica said...

OK I am right there with you with your list!! Especially "wiping" "laundry" and "getting dressed." So glad I'm not alone!

Happy Wife said...

Thanks Kenna!
You and your Hubs will have one babies sooner than later I'm sure ;)
And Jessica, as lame as it is, it's also good to hear that you there with me! OH the joys of pregnancy!

Bon Bon said...

oh yes indeed...the joys of pregnancy:-) it's all worth it (cliche, but true). AND goodness, with twins! Gold Medal goes to you! xoxo