Thursday, May 3, 2012

I believe in you.

It's been a long day. 
I never even got dressed... I guess that's partially true. I put jeans and a bra on in the afternoon before my brother and some friends stopped by. But still, that t-shirt and cardigan are actually what I slept in last night.
Though I did do my hair and put a touch of bronzer on, I left my eyes and lips bare. 

At 9 o'clock last night I sat holding both the boys in my arms and cried. Without making any sound, tears poured from my eyes and down my cheeks... Hunter and Emerson slept soundly as I dealt with overwhelming emotion.
There, before me and within my grasp were two precious babies. Two of the most amazing creations inside my home, entrusted into my care and looking up to me, 100% dependent on my strength and love. Awe struck and filled with wonder, all I knew how to do in that moment was cry.
Shawn had been gone all day and by 8 o'clock I was getting tired. The kitchen was messy, laundry sat in the dryer and I was hungry. The boys needed me a tad more than normal, therefor my hands and arms were busy soothing rather than working on things around the house.

To all you Mamas out there, I just want to say that you're amazing! 
It's an incredibly large task that you've taken on, and every single one of you, wether you've been a Mother for a month, or 20 years, I commend you. 
Especially all you first time Mothers. Even me, with all the experience I have under my belt, it doesn't take away the emotion and the exhaustion and the plain old fact that this is a 24/7 job that requires every ounce of my being. Were this to be completely new, I'd have lost it a thousand times over I'm sure. If you're crying, and overwhelmed and just flat out tired, it makes sense!! Don't pretend to be too tough.
{I'm not really sure who I'm saying this too, but I have a feeling that somebody needs to read this...}
I can only imagine how much more scary this job of being a Mom would be to someone who is so brand new to the demands that each day brings. 
You'll get through it of course! I'm sure that your baby/babies will grow to be so beautiful and blessed... and so will you.

Anyway, I cry, I get tired and the days seem daunting at times, But gosh I love love love this new season! All the tears can't change that. This is a season FILLED with heaps of joy, but sprinkled and even dumped throughout, we'll face worry and doubt.
I will rise to the challenge and accept the moments of weakness in order to feel the high of accomplishment. Who ever said thriving didn't have loads of trial packed into its foundation? You will thrive! because you've risen up from those minutes, even hours of sadness and fear.
I believe in you! 

Not sure what's going to happen when I can't hold both at once anymore...
In preparation for that day, I talk to Emerson and Hunter about patients a lot!
One Mama, two babies... we are all three in need of it.


Love you all! You mean so much to me!
Happy Wife


Nicole said...

Lovely and raw, you are awesome!!

Claire said...

i often dont get dressed. the first thing i do when i get home is put my pj bottoms on i just love to be comfy.
I'm sure you are being a wonderful mum, it must be so much work with two babies, but double the pleasure right?