Tuesday, June 26, 2012


author of quote unknown
There's a lot on my mind lately...
I'm learning to rearrange the thoughts that dance around in my head and land on the stability of truth.
Thoughts can lead us to so many far away places of uncertainty, doubt, fear and unhappiness.
But with the right perspective, our thoughts could also drive us forward into a land of fullness and joy.

The thoughts that I'm wrestling with these days are all centered around body image.
Having babies definitely changes your body. I had planned on never reaching the weight that I'm at again... {when I was younger, I was heavier. Lost the weight when I was 18, and swore to never gain it back} And though I've lost 40 pounds since Emerson and Hunter were born, I started the journey of pregnancy 30 pounds heavier than I was wanting to be already. So, I'm here, weighing a good bit more than I'd planned, and feeling that my body is less then beautiful more often then not. 
What am I doing about it? Well, first off, I have to change my thoughts. I can't condemn myself for being here. Two babies living and thriving within my own body kept me seated and slow for a good handful of months, and now those two babies, living and thriving, keep me seated still.
I've just started working out again. The boys are almost 12 weeks, and I'm doing my best to find time to move. They are finally big enough for their stroller so we can go on walks. They nap long enough/ and I've scheduled out the things I do during the day, that I can do a work out dvd while they sleep. And when Hubby comes home, heading to the apartment complex gym is starting to happen. 
My Love has been so very encouraging and despite my being insecure in this new form, he showers me with praise. 
I don't want to be insecure. That's not how I view myself! And really, I shouldn't be insecure. My body has been places, and it's going places. It tells a story. And it will continue to tell a story. 
Muffin top over my work out pants... well alrighty then! Walking out of the house with chub will bring me to walking out of the house without it. It must be done!

Most days I wear sneakers, a t-shirt, athletic pants and sports bra. If I dress this way, I'm more motivated to work out. And too, then I don't have to be discouraged about finding something cute to wear. 
This is a season, it won't last forever, and soon, I'll be wearing girly clothes once again!
I say soon because I've been so excited about the trip to a new me. Not just a new body, but a new attitude. I don't need to be skinny. I just want to be healthy... and again, healthy in my mind as well.
We're going places! {me, my body & my mind}

Love you all and hope you're doing well this week!!
Happy Wife.

ps. my new friend Brooklyn does such a good job at responding to comments on her blog! The last couple posts I've written, I've tried to follow in her lead and respond to you and your lovely comments.
From now on I'll do my absolute best to write back. Sorry for not being very good at it before!!!
I'm grateful for all of you 'Readers/Friends'.

Thanks for letting me share my heart here!


Dalayna Dillon said...

mmmm, love your words today. Our battles are won and lost in our minds. Great encouragement!

AmberDawn said...

Dalayna~ Yes! Oy! the battles we face are sometimes so silly! Of course sometimes they are not silly and actually quite serious...
Glad you were encouraged! It's something I need to be reminded of daily!

Sharon said...

thanks for posting this! I got a gym membership for the summer and I'm very motivated to get back in shape. it's hard coming to terms with the fact that your body will never be the same... but it doesn't seem to matter as much when you remember why. (:

Jessica said...

It is definitely a struggle after baby!! I'm only 5 feet tall so every pound seems to show that much more! I have to go back to work next week and with nothing in my closet even close to fitting, it is so depressing! I plan on wearing the same few outfits every day as motivation to lose the weight! I've started running too...just hard to find time! Good luck! We can keep each other motivated :)

AmberDawn said...

Sharon! Yay for motivation! And I've been thinking tons about how amazing it his to be a Mother, that's it what I dreamed of doing my whole life! So to be here, and to be a little chubby while living my dream... That's not do bad ;)

AmberDawn said...

*so bad

Harmonie said...

Love you dear friend! And appreciate your honesty! I'm definitely with you in fighting my own thoughts about my body as I prepare for marriage. xoxo

Brooklyn said...

this is why i love your blog so much - you are so open and honest! it's so refreshing to read! i can tell you are beautiful inside and out! and thanks for the shout out :) i try to respond most of the time...i actually had to do a "@everyone" on that post because i was asked to write a last minute article for the local paper...never enough time in the day, ha!

AmberDawn said...

Jessica, I went shopping a couple weeks ago and Oy! That was not fun! I'm also shorter, 5'2 so there's not far for the weight to go. BUT! We can do it! Yes, let's motivate each other! I'll be praying for you and going back to work as well! You are beautiful friend!

Unknown said...

I have recently come across this issue- no babies for me... but just seeing my body changing from my athletic high school years. Realizing that bodies do change and staying fit doesn't last forever if you don't keep up!

My friend and I have been keeping up with this blog and now book called The Metabolic Effect... it's more nutrition rather than exercise- but you still exercise. And instead of just LOOSING weight, which is what everyone tells us... it's a fat burning/muscle building lifestyle.

I am loving it. Here is the blog... you should read about it!!!

I am encouraged to hear you write. :) I am thankful for your honesty... and I love reading your blog for that reason!!!

PS. the book is more simple than the blog... and I got it at the library!

- Jamie

AmberDawn said...

You're such a hottie Harms! I love you!!!

AmberDawn said...

Fun!! You wrote for the local paper?! How cool are you?! Now I like you all the more ;) and I think you're beautiful too!!

Danya said...

Funny - I had this very battle Saturday as we went shopping for new jeans. {And I haven't had ANY babies!} And I like you, wrote about it'll see it tomorrow.

You're beautiful girl. I can't imagine the changes you've been through physically, but I know that you are one stellar momma! No amount of muffin top or cellulite could outshine the beauty that comes from inside you! Love you....d