Tuesday, November 4, 2014

I've missed you

I've really missed you.
I've missed blogging. I've missed the whole act of putting into words the actions and thoughts of my day to day.
While going through the motions of life and living in the moment offers one point of view, going back and recounting it all draws up a whole new perspective. I've realized that there is beauty hidden within it and it needs to be discovered. I have to remember.
It helps me to appreciate where I'm at.
And too, it helps me to better see where I'm going.

Being a Mom is the most hard core thing that I have ever done! Being a wife is pretty intense, but the sacrifice required in mothering is quite a bit more demanding.
Any of you that have stepped into this role know that it's incredibly difficult, beyond humbling and super draining at times.
But, it is also THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING that I have ever been a part of.
Gods hand is on us and my arms stretch out for His love daily. He is with us. We are raw. Every activity is new. Seasons are constantly changing and there is little comfort in assuming what tomorrow may look like. With toddlers, you never know what you're going to get. God is constant. I am growing, learning, being broken and put back together.

I turned 30 a month ago. My youth is slowly slipping away, but maturity offers a stability that feels pretty darn good. I will look back on my 20's with fondness, as I forge ahead in anticipation of what's to come.

I am writing more. Working on a novel that I am beyond excited about and a few other pieces that fight to escape my mind. There is a story teller that lives within my being and her voice must be heard. I feel like writing is an organism inside of me and it has to be allowed to live to it's full potential. Denying it the space it requires kills my spirit. So I write, in all sorts of forms.

And as for being a 'happy wife with a happy life', Shawn and I are doing well. He brings me joy daily and we laugh together just as much as ever. We absolutely have our moments of frustration, and years to learn how to better love each other, but I couldn't imagine doing life next to anyone else. He is my other half and best friend. He provides for our needs and cares for us with such an sweet loyalty. Emerson & Hunter are blessed to have this man as their Father and I to be their Mother beside him.

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