Monday, November 10, 2014
It was utterly ridiculous, but overwhelmed with all that wasn't done, I blamed myself. Thinking that it was my fault, that I hadn't been doing enough.
Later on that evening after Shawn had come home from work I snuck away to take a bath while the boys had some special Dad time.
Refocusing and collecting my thoughts I was struck with how silly it was for me to carry such a heavy burden.
After all, just within that day, I had cooked my sons a proper breakfast & lunch, played with them outside, read to them, built legos with them, ran two loads of laundry (including putting it away), went grocery shopping, watched my neighbors little boy for about an hour, made dinner with enough to send home for them, I worked on my novel and cleaned up around the house. Potty training, breaking up fights, encouraging in love, teaching life skills, tending to the needs of our home, washing: clothes, bed linens, bath towels, kitchen towels, sinks, floors, walls... faces, hands, booties... myself on occasion...
How on earth could I possibly do much more?!
So I let go, once again, of the burden to be a better me, and was proud of myself for having done so very much that day.
Later on I want to share more concerning my struggle between healthy expectations and the lofty ones that I put on myself, as I'm sure many of you can relate.
If you're staring at bills, dusty cabinets and dishes in the sink, don't lose heart. Be encouraged and take a long look at how hard you've been working. Give yourself grace if you're in a rough season. And if all you have is a mole hill, remember it's not a mountain ;)